Spastic Diplegia Parents Network

I only write this here because I can remain anonymous.

I’m a man who happens to have cerebral palsy, it just affects the fully control of my legs, my right hand, and my speech, besides that I’m just like everyone else. I walk and to go out I use a power wheelchair. Nothing has stopped me to live my life at the fullest. I’m Hispanic in my late 30′s.

First let me give you a little of background.

About three years ago I was dating this woman two years older than me, so I though to be. She said that she had an 16 year old son and she had him at a very young age, and for school reasons he was living with his grandmother. I accept her just as she was. I stay with her because she give me what I though I needed back then, you how love makes see things. Now I look back at everytime we stared to get intimated she always found reasons to cool down the moment. We dated a little more than 18 months. One night we were chatting on-line, and we were almost over when she said “I got something to tell you”….. “we had going out for sometime so I want to trust with my life… I’m really younger than you by 10 years, my son is not my son, he is my brother, but all that it doesn’t matter because we have fully trust in one another.” I said “WHAT???!!!” After three more hours of going back and fort, and more lies came out she end up tell me ” it’s ALL you fault for not accepting me for who I am,” and demanded me “DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN.” I though that was great for us to become two more strangers in the world. All was great until she tried to contact through a messenger using another alias, I know it was her for her heading and because she over ensure me that she was older than me. I did cut her off nicely thinking that I may was wrong and really she was someone else.

As time went by she tried couple of times to contract me, but the thing that made me angry the most was knowing the one of my closed friends back then was that he knew the true about her before than she told me and they still remained friends. I knew him first than her, I introduced them. So it was then that I did a full clean up of my address book, just 5% of people there stayed and to the other 95 % “so long……” I am not sorry for had to live all that because I learn the same from the good things and bad things in life

For the pass three year I been just working not thinking about another relation nor new friends. But now I feel the need some female attention and want to have again someone beside me emotionally and physically. At the same time I’ve become very selected about who’s around me and who’s know what about my life.

What I’m looking in a woman I feel that is noting and too much at the same time. Nothing, I don’t care about if she work or not, ethnicity, religion, be mom or not, her income. At the same time for some women those things that I don’t care about for some of them is their whole world. Specially the income of men, even for some it has become a most for just dating, some women say “I’m not go out with this man if made lass than…..” I am not into money, it just a matter between me and my employer, or between me and my bank account. Another thing that I think that is too much for me to ask is to not having a social page about her because you never know who see them. People should know about you from you and not for a page. The only reason to have a page in my view is if you have a business or something work relater. My way of thinking about social network like “my space” got to do with what happen with my ex. I just want to meet someone honest, mature, someone who acts her age (a woman of 28 and up acting and thinking like a teenage is a real turn off for me), I want someone between 35 and 45, and I like independent women that has not forget to be a lovely woman. There are things that should not change in looking for someone, and others you could negotiate. In each new relationship that I had in the pass I’ve discovered new things that I liked and didn’t have before, so is good to keep a open mind.

A lots of times I feel like I’m going against the tide because I don’t care what sociality said how I suppose to be like for having a disability or for my ethnicity. I feel very countable going to wherever I want to go like museums, art exhibitions, or just taking a stroll by nature to meditate.I don’t drink or smoke. I don’t lessen to radio because I don’t want be told even what music I should like, all my music that I have is from what hear in reunions of work, parties, anywhere else except from pop culture. When I am in a relation I give all, it most be a two way street. I like and have moments of craziness, like suddenly jumping into the car for a weekend gateway, or take vacations to place where I know no one so I get a chance to know the place and not be lock in somebody’s else house.

Am I asking too much from a woman? I still have my doubts if I should go back to date again or I stay like this alone with totally free